The Hilarious Vet Trip: Marco’s Cactus Encounter

Marco had been watching the lizards run back and forth for weeks. Standing in the window barking and howling at them. Every now and then one would look up at him like “dog you can’t get me”. A few times Marco would be off his lead and chase the fast paced low riders to the porta john on site. He would turn and come back looking like he was saying “another one got away mom”.

Well this time the lizard took a hard left around the side instead of under. The race lizard then took a hard right into a paddle cactus. Marco ran to the other side as I was yelling my fool head off “MARCO STOP, LEAVE IT!!” The lizard then made a bold move and boogied for the pj again.

Marco without hesitation took a leap over the cactus and down the other side not quite clearing the whole outer paddles. That stopped him pretty fast! I got to him and picked him up covering both of us in little hair like tines of cactus. I got him back into the shack to assess what the damages were.

He had 2 long tines in his nose and lip area. Ok, Marco hold on this is gonna hurt. I pulled both out with barely one “YIP, MOM THAT SMARTS!” I got what I thought was the most of them. Then I called the Emergency Vet.

The vet said they would not come out on their own. So either I keep plucking or bring him in. If they got in his mouth it would be surgery. He kept wanting to bite at them so I wrangled him down and continued plucking until he would not tolerate any more.

I called a few dog owner friends who have had dogs in areas with cactus. They told me the same as what the vet recommended. There was this one patch on the inside of his leg that I could feel. We went home after work and decided to wait until morning when our vet would be in.

The vet said they could not see him until the following week. Of course that was going to be to late. I had to run up to Crane to the store, give Brian a call and make some decisions. I took Marco to the park to see if he had business to do. Pulling in I see a mobile vet in the next parking lot. HEY YAH!! Ok I’ll go sign him in there and see what they can help me with. That’s when the “real” fun began.

(I encourage you not to be eating or drinking anything for this next segment. You might ruin your keyboard or phone.)

We sign in about noon. There were about 5 cars of pets ahead of us. They were there for the NORMAL stuff. Shots, 1st visits, and nail trims. Then there was us. (hanging my head as I write this)

We wait in the car only about 20 minutes. Not bad for having that many pets ahead of us. I roll down my window every time a pet leaves waiting for her to call our names.

Yay its us!! Our turn Marco. Grab the lead. Psych him out that it’s going to be FUN getting out of the car. He is ramped up and ready to run. Until (cue dark music) we get to the door and it opened. He took one smell of what was inside and it was no longer going to be the fun he anticipated!

We get inside, Marco in my arms and I break out into song with the Vet telling him and the 2 lady techs what had happened. I told them he was a rescue dog and would need a muzzle because he was already scared and we don’t know his history of events prior to us taking him. He said he felt we could make some extra progress so I handed my card and my ID to the intake tech.

The vet was very kind. He had his tech hand me the muzzle. Marco had no issues with me putting it on him. The problem started when the clip was not long enough. The tech reached around me to tighten it and Marco flipped out!!

I now had a 14.5 pound Nerf gun that didn’t shoot foam bullets. Seriously… bam bam bam he was shooting turds!! As he was wiggling to get away from all of us, if there had been a fan … well you know what hits the fan when things go wrong!! Then I had my personal water fountain. He got onto his back and pee was like in a tight water hose. Shot the ceiling, the walls, the vet, the techs and myself. Nervous bladder much?

All of this after he had gone to the park just 20 minutes before!! Oh Marco!!

The vet pinned him down and the techs had his legs. I stepped back grabbing paper towels and apologizing profusely. The vet is giggling and saying he was getting the rest of them out. He had me come over and do a feel of Marco’s leg. All felt clear and good to go.

Through clenched embarrassed teeth. I said while we have him pinned could we do his nails?

The vet in a blink of they eye had the clippers and nails done in seconds.

The vet laughed at the end and said “You’re going to have fun giving this one a bath at home and that was one good story of Marco and the lizard.” He said “It had to be a funny site to watch til the cactus got involved.”

All said and done that lizard cost me $70. (including nail trim)

Thank you to Out West Veterinary Services in Monahans, TX. Dr. Swarb you truly showed compassion to a neurotic rescue boy.